heys~

been posting food photos happily and not exactly blogging. haha. maybe I should start a food blog too(:.

my three months holidays are coming to an end. we never get tired of holidays, don't we? In the past, we had one month holidays in june or six weeks of holidays in december, and always wished for more days during the last week of holidays thereby all the holidays homework would pile up. frequent holiday homework leftover suspects would include unfinished newspaper cuttings (chinese/geog/gp), repititive math homework (E math, A math, C math trigo... ...), 字帖, 閲讀報告, past year papers, compositions. and now, after two months plus of holidaying, I still feel the inertia of going back to school. especially when school is no longer in the east area. and the thought of bidding agonies, new stressful modules, frequent visits to library to zap notes, kicking back into mugging mode... blearghh. my brain has been in hibernation since exams ended last semester. it's going to take some time before the brain will finally be defrosted fully to absorb new information and disseminate the gibberish into useful bits of knowledge. and to think I harboured lofty intentions before exams to make full use of my holidays to build up on my meagre knowledge of china's history.

may was spent doing nothing much. slacking, making great plans about exercising, tuitioning, outings, 自修-ing. june was spent accumulating much angst over preparation of the camp plus working paid (breathless on first day, slack on remaining days:p) work and unpaid (shitty) work during the camp. july started off with yc putting her 200% in slacking after the camp. and recently she's been obsessing constantly about food. and spending alot too (and not doing accounts for expenses).

and without much delay, school will commence again. BAHH.

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had a fight with mum today over a silly issue. I was keeping my emotions under control but I really couldn't stand her constant, undying flow of blame that I blew my top. my emotions were stretched to the limit. I didn't throw a tantrum or scream. I just felt my senses leaving me and squatted there sobbing. I hate not being in control but I just got too tired of keeping myself in check, treading in safe waters, being on constant vigilance, keeping in all emotions and putting on a nonchalant front. too many things were often left unsaid. the spark was a tiny issue that blew out of proportion because of other matters. it's okkay. I will just have to ensure that the negative emotions are kept safely in a vault that is kept under tight surveillance and security, and draw up emergency evacuation plans to avoid over-accumulation of negative toxins.

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