你好﹗

自從語特考試圓滿 (會嗎﹖﹖﹖) 結束後﹐已經有好一段時期沒有以華文書寫了。
‘書寫’這個詞彙有些奇怪吧。

那天﹐有兩個朋友告訴我她們很久沒有說話了。甲說現在說話有些顛三倒四﹐詞不
答意等類似現象。乙說已經忘記怎麼和人溝通了。

說話。溝通。不就是每個人在生活的每一天所必須經歷過的一個過程嗎。曾幾何時﹐
我們漸漸失去了這些功能。

就象我們在不經意的時候﹐會丟失的一些東西。

也許是回憶。

也許是友誼。

也許是某種情感。

也許是我們從不明顯的放在眼裡的東西﹐卻像氧氣和水一樣的﹐不可或缺。它就仿
彿在我們眼睛的盲點中﹐因此就似有似無的出現在我們視線範圍內。

這兩年來﹐我又丟失了什麼。

十八年以來﹐得到的和失去的應是不勝枚舉吧。

人生。不就如此。

所有的得失﹑榮辱﹐還不是會隨著人的死去而灰飛煙滅﹖

藏在內心的孩子氣因此告訴自己- 下一世﹐就不要當人吧。做個沒有生命的東西﹐
像桌子或絨毛玩具。

當人嘛﹐要樂﹑要氣﹑要泣﹑要狂﹑要野﹑要病﹑要猛﹑要懶﹑要爛﹑要行﹑要型。。。
。。。

又會在生命的某一個橋段甚至在死的前一刻﹐猛然發現﹐這一切的一切只會化為烏
有。

虛度這麼多光陰﹐換來一個死字。

有些可笑吧﹖

筆者此刻立場並不代表筆者每時每刻的想法。

有人說過的。

女人是善變的。


-
丙告訴我﹐她好累。比起其他同年齡人﹐她得揹起十分沉重責任。雖是心甘情願﹐
但是難免會有些徬徨。

我深信自己是幸福的。一直都是被保護和庇護著的。從沒承受過太大的打擊或刺激。
從沒揹負有任何十分重大責任。雖然童年未必是完全美好的﹐可是已經比我的姐姐
哥哥好受多了。我所見過的﹐不比他們多。但是這些陳年往事﹐我已經決定不在追
究。不是我所能控制和左右的事情。我沒有批判的資格。總之就是平淡和基本上快
樂的度過了我的十八年。

不知不覺﹐越變越膽小。

不知不覺﹐越變越懦弱。

不知不覺﹐越變越軟弱。

我想做的﹐是一個堅韌不拔的。。。 <<孔雀東南飛>>﹐我承認我沒把你背熟﹐但是
該認識孔雀的人應該知道吧。嘿。

好。重來。

我想做的﹐是一個砸不爛但實際上仍會被砸爛的草莓。草莓爛了﹐草莓的精神卻沒
有一起爛。 不要要求太高﹐世上無萬能的草莓﹐即使有人工加工﹐也不可能不潰爛。


說話有欠些連貫性﹐但是說的每一句話都是發自內心﹐是誠懇的。

[dhs hall] starjump!! who's who?=). 

current 4L classrm! pacccman!! 

hiehiehie!!!!!!

ohmy ohmy ohmy.

i hv not blogged fr ages.

it's not my fault. technically. haha. but wells... it's just my ridiculous computer again.. anw it has been pestered by the trojan horse for a long time and the horse refuses to leave my comp and will just insist on trampling all over my dear comp, making it as crazed as possible. HAI.

nvm!

hooray!

i've found a way to blog again!

lolll.

A levels are over~ i can't believe 2 yrs of my life had passed just like that. what hv i done in these 24 months? the 4 yrs i spent in dhs did feel long enough. the 4 yrs amounted to 4 yrs. but the past 2 yrs didn't seem real. wells. i mayn't be making much sense.. trying my best to put my feeling across in words but yaa.. when it's all spelt out clearly with the alphabet, it doesn't seem to mk much sense anymore. =X.

a full week and 2 days have passed since the end of A lvls. but these 9 days seemed like an eternity. time is strange. what exactly is time? this space we are living in.. this dimension... hmm.

watched a beautiful mind ytd.

i liked it.

john nash.

i'm impressed by his willpower and determination. and his wife's love.

oh. and i was so flabbergasted by the letter i rcved tdy. edusave merit bursary. i hv not seen this letter since psch days. yaa. i've nvr excelled in dhs.. loll. (nt that i'm excelling in tj now.. my results hv always been crap beside the As ppl could score) i had nvr expected this. of cos this may seem a ritual thing fr some ppl, to rcv this letter yr aft yr, or some may rcv the edusave scholarship.. but fr me. it is something big.

"The Edusave Merit Bursary is targeted at students from lower middle-income families who have performed in the top 25% of their level and stream."

haha. okay. stream. fewer competition in the arts stream? eh.. yepps. must be=).

but anw the point is... i'm happy even if it isn't some kind of great honour:).

i'll do more updating soon.. gg off now cos my dajie's family is here! seeeya.

jaa.