[#70]

hehe. watched the dvd. loll. NICE~! awww.

feel so freee.

i think it's time for updates.. updatg of my fic.. needa cont and finish up the current story and come up with new ones!! tian ahhh~ where is the ling gan!!! =D haha.. and also my chuang zuo gao! woooo! hahhx.

yeaa. F.I.R rocks la. lol.

waa. xian mu the lucky fan who met F.I.R in london when they went there to record some of their songs.

shall blog again ltrr~

anyway i want to buy shaman king's manga badly! not to forget, chrno crusade as well! so tempted. but comic books are like $6 per book... yarr.. one whole series about 30plus volumes huhh. ke xiang er zhi, how much money it will amount to. =S! lollolx.

cya again!

[#69]

HIEHIE!!!

hahahah. feel very freee.

kay la.. being mean. lol.. seems like whole of tj j1s only 14 of my scg finished JCT lerx.. cos i don't think there's a full scg with our combi? hmmm. lol. there's still phy, bio, hist and geog i think. lol. dunno. jiayou peepz!

when i gt out of house and reached mrt, i realized i forgot my pouch. what a thing to forget!!!!! nvr in my life i'd forgotten such an impt thing and only realized when i reach the mrt. lol. went back to get it.. when i reached white sands i realized i forgot gaozhis. called ky asked if she had extras and she didn't bring also! but she jux bought. loll. so decided not to go bck again. borrowed 12 pieces frm her, wrote 10, crushed 1, returned her 1. hehex. 10pgs leh!! big deal arhh. haha.. the duan ping was bleargh? haha.. cldn't understand when i read it thru so decided to do other parts first.. guwen was like.. eeee.. for lou shi ming cannot really yi cos dunno how to put it across. siann. lang was abit better. the jie shi part i anyhow tried my luckk. shi and xiaoshuo nehhh.. shi the fan yi tao yuan xing part was really anyhow hala.. libai's zhan cheng nan i tried my best la, but cldnt rmb anything to quote out. so sad! hee. xiaoshuo was like yayy so ez~ hahaha. as in can do de qns^^. i had been panickg and thinkg what kinda weird qns will come out.. did yao and huifu. write until hand protested like siao.. thot pen no ink but it's cos my hand grip no more le.. lolol.

feelg highh~ cos of F.I.R's wuxiannn~! *siao* *knocks head*

ohhya. vanessa wrote sth funny for guwen part. LOL. so funny. quite cute la. ahahahs. tt girl. the yuan wen for lou shi ming last sentence was: "kong zi yun: he lou zhi you?" she fang yi as "kong zi shuo: na li you lou?" wahahahas. and there was this girl sitting near her and bingrong who tore paper venomously off and mumbled somethings like: "yao..." blablabla. hahaha. rather funny. hAhx.

it seems weird that JCT finished so early. used to have so many subjs to tackle.. 2 subjs a day.. yarr.. but now. yea. zhe de bu tong ba. haa..

"ba aiii fannng kaiii~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"

hehe. nice song nice song nice song nice song! can't stop chantg tt. lololx.

shall update again when i have e xing qing.

[#68]

hiehie~

decided to update today. ((:. was tellg myself i wont blog these 3 days of JCT. hrmm. but yarr.. i'm here =). the last 3 papers weren't too good. econs essays were terrifying.. haii. it was just this stretch of wrds tt rambles on and on.. and i don't understand. 4 qns.. chose 2 more likely de.. as usual wrote very slowly.. dunno why but history nvr really trained me.. still did super slowly.. :(. heyy. i musn't let this happen again.. econs is an impt subj to me. it is. i only have 3. all 3 are equally impt. hrmm. yea GP as well. the drq was quite alright but didnt have time to process the last part so just wrote some crap that looked more reasonable.. didn't think further.. no time.. mcqs made me a little calmer. phew. wasn't as bad.. but that was the first 8 qns i think. haha.. nvm. i think maybe i can pass with a little luck? i'm not very sure actually. sigh. today's maths was hai. maths nvr fail to kill me huh. don't feel like thinkg about it le.. anyway i know i don't deserve to pass. but i really wish i can!!! the macluarin series made me do till my neck ache and yan hua... waa.. but still didn't really know how to further simplify and gt fedup and no more time so proceeded to others. big sighh. i think i really should chiong after this... nxt week. i shall start lookg at the maths stuff againn. gt qns just shoot it to kor. yarr.. he solves anything, everything. shen qi. proud of my kor la. so smart. lol. wish i have 1/2 his maths brains. okae, i want more, what abt 2/3s? loll. and felt utterly disappointed for GP compre. first time in my life i felt so rushed and so terrible after an eng compre paper. :'(.. i kept dozing off!! it was so terrible!!! i dunno. kept zoning off and dozing off.. frightening. i must get enough sleep today.. if not tmr's lep. eeeeee! cannot. =(. although i don't have chem and i know alot of chem+lep pple are stressing out.. but i don't think i have a lot of spare time either. honestly. i know they are worse off than me, but yarr.. it makes me feel even more stressed.

chem peepz in 1505! JIAYOU~!! alldabestttiex*~ you guys can de! bunch of smart peepz yar? scg1505 roc

and all my other tj friends who tk chem!! tingg, jiahui, angela, lingshan, lynn, xiaohan, kanghua, etcetcetc. i know loadsa pppl took this friendly subj called chemistry.

kay ba.. one more day! yc is lucky enough to have her morning free tmr! but don't think you have so much time that you slack and slack har. buckkkup! you have to mk sure your LEP results jian de guang. panickg about xiao shuo qns. always qrite and write and write and feel more and more and more out of point with each word.

oops. i gotta chiong 2 lep hw. to prevent xu ls frm deductg any mrks frm the exam. =S. the yao4 more impt. yea. go do now! chuang zuo gao leh? anyhow ba! WAHAS. =P..

tata!

p.s. chged my mind about F.I.R's CD. wellllll. alot of CDs you gotta listen and listen. when you like it more with each time, just proves its quality. =). rock on F.I.R~!! and yar. heard sly over 933 ytd. lolol. laughed and laughed at him. cutee (;.

[#67]

heyys. i shldn't be online.. shld be bedtime.. or crammg time.

yar. i did nth. watched spiderman.

having jitters. feelg very jittery. extremely scared. extremely worried. extremely nervous. just so insecure. it will make things worse, really. if i start gettg all jittery. get a grip, lyc! yarr. you really gotta get a grip on yourself. positive. BE positive. thinkg negative thought will not help. you don't need to expect much. but you have to give in your very best.

jiayou.

bu wei le bie ren.

wei le zi ji.

you know. it's time to pick yourself up. it's time to realize your priorities. currently. right now. yep.

stop panicking.

yenchun, you can do it.

you will be able to survive through the next three days.

promise me you will not cry.

promise me that you will not cry after receiving the results.

yea.

bu guan zen yang, it's all ding ju so it's useless anyhow to cry or panick or be jittery.

perform please.

put in your best.

even if you only aim to pass.

yeaa.

GO.

[#66]

positive thinking!

you will be okay!

your stomach will not let you down!

it will not wrench and twist and agonize you!

yay! *throws pompoms*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well. yc forgot to eat her medicine again. *pops medicine* *resumes normality*

*

anyway read laura's fics at last.. lololx.. realized i haven't been there since march. gdness. anw she had some really nice short stories there and she and jia's racer's pit is fab. hahax..

www.winglin.net/fanfic/zhemo - short stories
www.winglin.net/fanfic/blueger - laura and jia's cowrite

found some bits really funny. heyy laura, hope you won't mind me liftg some of your paras and quotg here horx! hehx.

here goes.. from /blueger, Racer's Pit, laura's chpter (chp14)

She turned to the half-asleep Shu Wei. Her hands charged to each side of his face, like a pair of cymbals clashing to a cartoon’s face. She shook his head violently, causing him to open his eyes widely to the extent. “Ahhh~ Stop! You’re giving me a headache,” he exclaimed as he forced her hands to be off his face. However, she refused to let go and squeezed his poor face with her palms, making a funny face out of him.

....

She displayed a series of puppy eyes that freaked Shu Wei out. He finally surrendered, “Ok, Ok! I’ll help! Just don’t show me those again. You’re creeping me out.” Unable to believe that he said that, Qiao En pinched his arm real hard, causing him to moan.

...

“So what? Dad treats me like a wall when I’m home. Now that I’m away, he’s treating me like a lost piece of treasure,” she snapped.

--

haha. =) anw, you go girl. ((:

--

gosh! i haven't been writing for 6mths! wahahahhas.

[#65]

heyhey~

went whitesands to study with eve ytd.. hotcakes for breakfast!! hehe.. spent the day doing lep xiaoshuo and guwen.. did huifuziyouyihou and dongye.. dongye made my head spin. guwen did the yu yans.. siGhh. don't think i rmb a single thing now.. so tmr's econs how?=S.

went to bed with stomach feelg a little uncomfortable.. thought i'll feel btr after wakg up but felt the same.. there was this pain in my stomach tt was on and off.. finally i went to the toilet.. and had diarrhoea.. felt absolutely weak.. cldn't get off.. legs weaak. xS. lips pale. felt really sick. ergh. luckily i didn't vomit.. went in and out abt 3times.. groaned as my stomach churned and knotted and twisted.. .. .. ate bao ji wan at last.. always had a kong ju gan cos i rmb vomitg everything out after forcg two bottles down when i was very young.. ate one bottle only this time round.. felt better.. watched TV... this nice japdrama.. ban kou xian er! lol. then abit of superstar. whoa. did abit more of lep guwen..

felt much btr.. went toilet again. felt ill again.. went to slp..

now feelg a little weird.. hope don't need to rush to the toilet again. sighh. and that thing had to come at the same time. guess that's why i was in so much pain earlier in the morning.. both types of pain attackg me.. :'(.

it's the worst possible time to have diarrhoea!!!! arghh. mummy said it must have been the duckrice i ate at whitesands. i vow nvr to eat that again. damnn. shldn't have eaten lunch ytd. sighh. hAIx.

ohh yeaa. ytd i bought F.I.R's CD! waHaHahax.. i was a little mad i guess.. just felt that i must buy. haha.. ba ai fang kai is so nice!!! but honestly i'm not like WOW-ded by the cd.. just ya.. hey, nice lohh. haha. oops. it costed me $20.90. CD+DVD. but yarr don't regret..

i must cram econs ltr!!!! please please please don't get sick again!!! arrrgh. more worried abt tmr.. tmr's paper at 1115am i think. what a bldy weird timg!! have to reach sch early cos it's a morning paper. what is this larr..

who's the culprit!!!! mac's hotcakes??? mac's cofffee??? whitesands's duckrice??? mac's twist icecream??? that's basically what i ate outside.. can't be the homefood ma.. or izzit some of the peanuts that i ate which were bad?

hahaHa. whatevs. already sick. =S.

ja ne then.. pray for me. =(.

[#64]

ermm.. haha.. got it frm ly. hee. so loong. and so many untrue parts. pretty overrated.

First, you as a person; the unique individual that you are. This is derived from what you typed in the "Name" area. It includes your inner urges and desires, and how you present yourself to others.
Your Inner or Soul's Urge: This is spiritual and emotional expression more than physical. It is your heart-felt desires, your incentive, how you look at life. Here are your areas of personal satisfaction.

For Name: Lim Yen Chun(Note: For best results, use the exact spelling as first recorded at birth.)
You desire responsibility, steadfast love, a harmonious home, domesticity, and maintaining long-standing family traditions. The perfect environment for you has ease, comfort, beauty, music, and harmony. You empathize with those who, through no fault of their own, are suffering. You are sympathetic to the needs of humanity. If you knew how, you would correct all injustice as a cosmic parent or guardian would. You have a good sense of loyalty and are a natural counselor. You are artistic, kind, understanding, inclined toward conventionality but broad-minded. When your emotions aren't too involved, you are a fine judge of character. Your life can be richer if you cultivate firmness and assertiveness to better balance your emotions and sense of justice, and realize that others have their own valid points of view.

Your Personality: This is physical expression more than spiritual or emotional; your outer self, the way you express when meeting others. It may or may not be the real you.

You present yourself as a special individual, imbued with self-reliance, originality, and strong will power. You often appear witty and dignified, and enjoy being around other go-getters. With a definite goal, you can be enormously productive. You are prone to self-centeredness and want to be first in all things. Yours is a likeable personality and can be very persuasive. To enhance this aspect of yourself, wear clothing with straight lines, well-fitted but loose, with bright and cheerful colors. If possible, do not be overweight.

Your Quiescent Self: Stripping away all outside influences, aspirations, ambitions, "shoulds", and "shouldn'ts" — this is you when you are alone; just you and your dreams.

You are courageous and daring. You enjoy dreaming of accomplishments never before achieved, with yourself as leader or promoter. Your thoughts and pleasure are related to leadership and expression of your unique self. Also, family and friends are a credit to you, and people recognize your abilities.

Your Destiny or Ultimate Goal: This is your desired lifetime accomplishment. It is a key to a useful and happy life, and to feeling fulfillment during your latter days.

Your destiny is to be one of the educators of the world -- uncovering and understanding the mysteries of life; studying, proving, making sure of facts then writing, teaching, or demonstrating your knowledge to others. Your quest for knowledge can bring you many unusual experiences and associations. You are intelligent, intuitive, scientific, a thinker, and a sage and you have far-reaching insight. You are an articulate and convincing spokesperson and a perfectionist, and would be at home in any executive position that did not involve machinery or the manufacturing departments. You enjoy writing, inventing, philosophy, and religions.
Second, the path you are traveling in this life. It is derived from what you typed in the "Birth Date" area. Here is where you find the type of events that tend to effect you as a person.
Your Life's Path: Here are clues to what fate has in store for you. It indicates the type of encounters, events, and opportunities you are likely to experience along your physical life path.

For Birth Date: November 7, 1988
Your path is along commercial activity and organization, business affairs, positions of authority, and management of people. Your goals are reached most easily by cultivating a large outlook, refusing all limitation, and using your authority and power wisely. You are a natural leader and a natural executive. Your ability to lead is limited only by your range of education and experience. You are able to deal well with the practical and material things of life, including judicious accumulation and use of money. Your opportunities lie with fulfilling the needs of organization, efficiency, effective handling of personnel, and expressing your executive abilities. Large corporations and organizations appeal to you.

This Year's Path: Here is what you are likely to encounter this year — your feelings, your predominant perspective, and the type of situations, circumstances, and opportunities you tend to attract during the calendar year.

For Year: 2005
This is your year for personal reflection and perfection, a year of introspection. You feel like analyzing everything you have been and are doing. You think about beauty, love, perfection, and what life is all about. You spend a good deal of time alone, getting acquainted with yourself and your new inner power. This year you gain a better understanding of your emotions and your spiritual nature. Take time out to rest, study, read, and travel, and to look at life from a different angle. Find outlets for personal creative expression. If you have psychic, spiritual, new age, or mystic interests, this is the year to pursue those studies. Quality is your standard.

Next Year's Path:

For Year: 2006
This is your year of achievement, your year to make great strides in business, employment, promotions, monetary compensation, and/or the accumulation of possessions. It is your harvest time. You feel ambition stirring, a desire to better your financial condition. To accomplish this, it is necessary to be businesslike, efficient, and practical all year. Many opportunities present themselves. To gain your rewards, move forward in a businesslike manner and with sustained effort. Your state of mind, mental capacity, education, experience, and self-confidence are all part of your success and financial advancement. You feel desire to make a special effort to improve or bring to a successful conclusion some of the ideas and dreams of the past years. This is a year of action. Place your abilities on the market with a sense of self-confidence and authority.

[#63]

posting up some photos. hahaha. having fun~ seeing all those photos. woo yi kou qi posted 14.. don't forget to scroll down to see them! =D cant find dig cam's charger!! dumbest thing tt cld happen. so now cam cant be used.. it isn't a very good one but at least it IS a dig cam. SIGH.

lalala~

today's yingting's bdae! happy happy bdae girl!! =) hope you'd had a lovely bdae!! and continue to have lotsa fun at rj! (:

studied outside again these 2 days. studied at the airport ytd with eve and tingg. well.. i wasn't extremely productive. haha. did inequalities and theory of production.. tried to finish the theory of production at night but dropped off to sleep at growth of firms i think.. yeaa.. so finished it up today at tamp mac. only eve and i met up.. ly wanted to study at MP lib.. yarr.. so both of us spent our morning at tamp mac, whereby i cracked my brains with AP.GP and some part of SIGMA. then we had lunchh without the apple pie we had been thinkg and thinkg about.. aft lunch we set off to esprit so tt eve can use her voucher to get her belt at last and another top.. eyed a nice top and she bought tt eventually.. went to tamp lib after tt to continue studyg.. the lib was packked with muggers!!! hahahx.. we saw xuecong.. ltr on i saw yonghui as well!! haha.. still managed to see some people.. oh yepp also saw yingchun at tamp mac. hehx.. did sigma and got frustrated.. read a book. haha.. see.. haven't done too much.. planning my last few days.. hmm.. tmr will be LEP day le.. and sunday will be the day to piaa econs. maths shall ask kor qns, and try to settle functions and curve as fast as possible, then do revision papers on monday. haiyaa. they shld put maths in the afternoon so i have more time to zhun bei mar.. but if they put it in afternoon, i will feel sleepy? haii. and gotta do sth for engGP as well right? well welll welllll. after GPpaper tt afternoon, and the next day's morning i shall chiOOONNNNNG for LEP. then whoosh~ everything is done. JCT will be over for just 3 days. but i'm just so going be dead. *SIGH*.

dadeedumm. doom. doom. DOOM.

chunrOc<.

o5a5's escapade trip! on da VIKING~! 

[huijun.me] dhscanteen 

[yiting.me] dhscanteen 

me.. 

[peisi.me] dhscanteen 

[eve.me] dhscanteen 

the 4 flowers received on BYG'o5 nite 

foody-maomao ((: 

nephew and niece! hehe. (; 

[me.tingg] dhscanteen 

yingmu + liu chuan feng~ ((;  

S.H.Y~ do-re-mi~ 

S.H.Y. [sQuEeEezZe!] 

S.H.Y~ 

[#62]

seems like there are so many things in life i have yet to experience. some feeling i guess i will never ever go through? like ly said, what is the real world like? hrmm. i have been leading a sheltered 16yrs 7mths life. haha.. my world is truly uncomplicated. maybe i have experienced a little of the uglier side of life, but it didn't really affect me i guess. i'm still happily living in this safe bubble which is well protected.. when will this bubble burst then? mmmm. i hope it will never burst. DUH. haha.. but ermm.. well, i have to learn someday right? hehe. learn how to cope with the meanness.. the backstabbing.. the weird warped way some people think in.. how to deal with xu wei people.. haha.. pri sch was definitely innocent.. dhs was very sheltered? yarr. most people say what they feel, are what they seem like, are true and real, and do not paint a different picture of themselves to different people. just frank and simple? in JCs, you meet other people.. see a different species of people..

but i think so far, all the people i've met are nice and straightforward ones. =). and well to me, the world is still beautiful. (;.

woo~~ yvonne's sendg me some bleach songs.. yayy~! nicenice! when JCT end, i shall religiously update myself on all those animemanga stuff. heehee. =)

[#61]

yoyoyoyoyox~!

back frm genting!!! aahahahx. haiiii. felt happy about coming home. feel sad about coming home to mug. hahaha. yarr.. 2 different tenses. felt initially, feel now.

i haven't even finished my econs!!! hahahaah. it's all the genting trip lorhh. didn't touch the notes at all.. touched a little bit la.. not past 5pgs. x). before i start whining and whinging and complaining about how much more i needa pia to pass my JCT, shld happily recall the times in genting~~

wells, did enjoy myself :). went with erjie and her in-laws and her husband's uncle and brother. hahax.. cos my jiefu cldn't take leave, so i went to accompany my sis. it was a 3D2N trip~ on day1, we met arnd 6am, and toook the bus down to m'sia and up to genting. the bus journey was looong. and once we passed SG, the toilets were disgusting.. haha.. but btr frm the last trip i made in dec, whereby the toilets had no soap. eeeee. hehe. we reached genting at arnd 1+. took the cable car up. went to our hotel-- Hotel Highlands, and waited for a loooong time before checkg in. after tt, arnd 3, we went for our late lunchh. then we separated our ways as erjie's in-law family went to the casino while both of us went arnd to explore. just basically walked arnd, found the ticket booth to buy theme park tics, and shopped about. bought this cap! renfu mao4!!! ahahah. something like that la.. hahaha. eve, shld show you someday. heeeheee. there was a lightblue and pink design but i chose the darker blue one which looked more unique. haha.. if my dig cam is wrkg, i wld post a pic of it up here.. hehe.. erjie bought a nice shawl.. then we bought these pink and orange frog keychains (3 for 10RM!) saw this cute, furry, colourful, small bag and was sooo tempted to buY~! but didn't. hahaa.. just tt sorta chongdong baa. i believe i will use it ba, but it was like 16.90RM and very small. hahx yepp. bleahh. erjie bought a shirt~! haa.. tried on some clothes.. but didn't buy.. but hey~! i shopped! loll.

we had supper in our rm *marrybrown fried chicken =b*~ and slpt quite late.. haha.. watched some tv programmes..was watchg this malay show.. haha.. quite silly.. the aircon was soo cold!!! was shiverg after bathg and while puttg on clothes my teeth were chatterrrg!!! haha..

the air at genting was very nice~ very nice and coooolg~ totally fresH~ just a chg frm SG lor.. haha.. it had been extremely humid mar.. we went to the themepark on the 2nd day! haha.. outdoor themepark~! first ride was the new one-- flying coaster!! mygod. it was so frightening. it's like escape's superman, when you lie flat.. but this one will turn and turn, you will be "standg" sometimes, it will invert, go in circles, crash arnd. waaa. really scary.. doesn't seem to really hold you down and you feel like you are flying and dying. lolol. very shiokkk. erjie and i screamed and screamed like hell and gripped the bars tightly.. when we got down, our legs were really jelly-like. hehehe. we also went on teacup *damn dizzy!*, dinosaurland, skyway, matahari *ferriswheel*, spinner,super toboggan,flume ride,carousel *which didnt have music! sad* and corkscrew *only erjie went!*. hehehe. not many rides la.. cos i was abit lousy.. u knoe.. hahaahx.. scared and everything. wanted to try space shot.. but didn't in the end.. not enough time, cos we had to meet erjie's inlaws at arnd 5.30PM for dinner.. the spinner was soo nice! like a bigbig swing.. so nice.. although it was quite high up and was spinng round and round, but it was nice and brrrreezy! hehe. the super toboggan was damn cooooL! it's like a car, then you sit on it and it goes on the track.. jerk about, very fast.. but very safe~ hehe.. and so fun! hahax.. the flume ride made us extremely wet!!! and it was so slow!! we got into this boat like thing, then the track goes on SUPER SLOW. so slow that we have to push ourselves forward.. hehe.. then it will reach the highlight.. whereby it goes slowly up a steep slope, toomtoomtoom, then reach the peak and WHOOOOOOOOSH!!!, slams down to the bottom, and water splashes all over you!!! hahaha.. shoes got so freakish wet! haha.. cos the water splash INTO the boat mar. lolll. so cooll!!!!! then the boat goes on slowly slowly slowly on until it reaches the 2nd slope and slides down to a SPLASH again! lololx. FUNFUNFUN~! but nOT wortH the loOoOOng slOow tracK beforE the hiGhlights. lol. wanted to go on the mine train as well, but it was temporarily closed ~_~ haha.. the flyg dragon as well.. cos it began to rain the it was very misty all around.. when erjie went on the corkscrew *i refused cos it looked so horribly frightening =P* i took some photos! haha.. proud of the corkscrew photos i captured! muz ask erjie to send me those photos so i can post them up~! hee..

conclusion the themepark was enjoyable! scary yepp but still! hahaa.. it's time i experience more themeparks!!! lololx. and not get so freaked out ezly.. and hey! gdnews! didn't really sustain any bruises! not like that time when i went to escape and got many ugly bruises back. errgh.

after the themepark and dinner, we shopped again.. this bum city shop sold soo many things!! there were all sorts of stuff. clothes, accesories, gifts, caps, bags, toys and blah! haha.. was so tempted by some bracelets!!!!! but didn't buy. haha.. bought some gifts hm.. (: bought the lovely lookg chocs we saw on teh first day as well! hahaha.. nicenice! YUM~ haha.. =)

for the third day we did nothing much but just lounged about.. hehe.. the hotel room was nice mar.. haha.. and poor erjie had diarrhoea. quite bad. she felt weak and everything.. siighh. but luckily it wasn't too bad cos we had this long bus journey back and not too many toilet breaks.. but she still managed. gt well soon, erjie! =D

yepps! had my fun! haahax.. bck to reality! bck to mugging! haha.. yeaa.. i shld finish off my econs and do maths till i die for the nxt few days. heyy. let's not forget LEP. ( :...................................................................................................................................................................

tiredME.

[#60]

heyys~

woohoootx. 60th entry^^. wahahha. trallalalalalala~ have i broken my own record for this yr, for not updatg for 3 days straight *no camps or anything*? think so. hehe~ whatevvver~ kinda missed blogging.. gg off to genting tmr and i haven't packed anything x). coming bck only on tuesday, shld be arnd nighttime. ooh~ mugger rock will tell ya, it's *counts* 3 days of revision lost!!!! slacker stone will tell ya, who cares?

one week of revision.. hmm. almoz a week ba. not really a full week. don't expect much for my results~ this amount of revision is not comparable to real muggers who do their stuff. acty deep down, am impressed by people who are really focused and driven by their own determination and drive. wellllll.


You are a Toad - croak! Meaning you are a
fairly, normal person (well,if you can all
anyone normal - that is.) You are mostly a
happy person, getting on with your life with
only a few croaks and moans along the way. You
are also a very, practical person and probably
quite a hard worker. You enjoy the simple
things in life like the company of your
friends, going shopping or to the cinema,
reading a good book and being with your family
or loved one.

Your good points are that you
are even tempered, fairly happy go lucky and a
good friend to have around. Your bad points are
that you sometimes lack the drive to succeed,
being happy with what you already have. Which,
really isn't such a bad point at all.

Mostly
content with your life, you are a happy,
well-rounded person.

Are you a Princess, Enchantress, Faerie, Mermaid or Toad? (with pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla

as shown. i'm a toad. *blearghh* who lacks drive to succeed and is happy with what i already have. hehe. what do i have?? in terms of family and friends, i'm happy with what i have =). in terms of academic success, i got none to speak of hrmph. anything else? nahh. family and friends have given me enough to sustain me thruout mai life. but... yeaaa. sometimes you don't succeed for your own sake. yeaa.

these few days of studyg at da airport.. been somewhat constructive but still can't curb the urge to eat! hahaha. yeaalohhx. bad thing we found out so many places to eat and waste money~ really, i waste all my money on food only^^. but yarr, these many hours of studyg only makes me feel like shoppg and spendg money!!!! arghhh. can't say i'm really workg very hard cos ya.. but it still feels like a small achievement when you get down and achieve your aims for the day ba.. let's hope that i will get some minimal results after wakg up from a loooong nice slp. (:

let's look forward to after JCT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yahOoo!!! gotta plan what i want to do after that. muahahahha. gooutgooutgooutgooutgoout. and goOoutgoOoutgoOutgoOutgOouUt. AND GOOUTgooutgoOuTtgOoOut. lalalala~ wanna shop and buy stuff~ and wanna play. watch moviE! hmmm. want to go out with eve and tingg *and finally shi xian our G.A.Y outg*. go out with yun and the rest. have SCG outg *mann, we've been tuo yan-g since when? since our sCg daE riTeex??????*. go kbOoOx. watch initialD with lyan and huiQi~ jio choccy&sausage out. 4Loutg??! hahahhaha. shit. what about 05A5 outg? YEA. life is great.

haha. like i'll have soooo many free days and soooo muchh energyy and sooo manny hours per day? hahaha energy i can have wu xian liang de... can turn hyper with the right ppl at the right place.. but well, not so many hours to spare.. and there's still reality to face up to! gotta plan my studies aft JCT results are released and chioooong for PROMOS. wellls, i don't wanna be retained!!! hahaha. cos they gonna chg syllabus and i'll be too demoralized anw to care so muchh. whoooa. then i will ruin my own future *do i have one?*. or waste my time by only gg poly aft a yr of JC. HRMPH.

what do i want to do with MY LIFE????????????????????????????????

shall think more when exams are oooooover~!

meanwhile, whatttt abt the comg genting trip? wahhahhaha. acty i can satisfy my shoppg desire leRx.. think....so? aahha. ohhyeaa. and can scream like hell on those riiiiiides. hehe.

whoooa~ feels good to be typg againnn~ wheeyarhhHhhhhHhx! =)

yeppp. i'm a simple girl. =,=~ heheh. wei chang bu hao ne?


You are dead inside and don't experience sadness
that often

Why are you sad? [amazing pictures] For darker people
brought to you by Quizilla

deadddd?? hahah. hmmm.

keyboard is weird againn. ctrlC and ctrlV function wrkg weirdly. ~_~.

that's all for now then!!! maybe i'll be back again ltr (;.

[#59]

heyaheya~

didn't update ytd.. tt update was 12june latelate de shi hou update le.. yea.. had econs lesson ytd.. wasn't too bad? but still felt rather blank when mswong said this and that and that. ahaha. sighh. and ohh yeaa, i improved!! for econs test. i improved by TWO mrks. if i can refresh your memory, my first test was 5/25. hehe. still didn't manage to pass. errrm. not even 2digits. sadd. but well, aft i did that test didn't expect a 7 anyway. hehe. wonderg if i will even manage to get a C for econs le worr. x).

i love to stone. i love to play minesweeper. i love to waste time. yayy. my hobbies are all so constructive.

digressed a little.. welllllll. aft econs lesson, which ended an hr earlier!! yayy, mswong wan sui (;. hehe. met up with ly at changi airport to studdy. we went to BK. did i manage to study? hmmm. aft my lunch, i struggled with binomial theorem tutorial and completed about half of it only. arrrrgh. i hate it. why izzit so tough? while waitg for ly at the platform, i'd managed to finish my trigo tut22. continued with my econs LN 1 and yea.. went hm aft tt..

did more today i guess. finish econs LN1 (bet i forgot all abt the 3 economic structures?), pgs 1-28 of LN2 (i took so damned long.), and wang wei's shi1s. errrrgh. sposed to carry on with differentiation ltr.. don't think i will do so tho. haii.

still wish i started earlier.

by not startg, i nvr realized so much i have on my hands. haii~ whatever. you chose to study so late.

freakg jc life.

chunshi.

[#58]

ermz. my phone suddenly blacked out while i was smsing.

hmm.

went out for dinner with jun and wil just now, to celeb wil's birthday *belatedly*. ate at ajisen!! haha.. pretty ex eh. haha.. yeaa. also had swensens ice cream cone!! butterscotch. loll. yumyum. thnks wil for the icecream! hahax. jun and wil had sticky chewy choc. waaaa. sinful. reminded me of my sticky chewy choc on that day of qingchun. loll. yum! i love icecream! =) we talked thru dinner, then went to the lib.. tamp lib closes at 9 now during wkends! not all NLBs rite? or am i too outdated? dunno. wil bought this unconventional prez for jun. loll. guess what it was?? we had a looong time guessg b4 jun got it right. hehe.

felt pretty good all day. haha. talked to tingg la, play with baby niece la, had dinner with jun and wil la, watched iron ladies when i reached hm and laugheddd and laughhed. then was wonderg abt what to mug for tmr onwards when i received a cls msg abt some chem extra lesson which doesn't concern me. and bom. realize today is 12june *kay, already 13june le* and i have an econs lesson on 13june. hurrrrray.

it isn't a big deal but i just feel so. whoa. i had been such a slacker.

i will get Ds.

grimace grimace grimace.

A lvl subjs aren't same as O lvl subjs ba. that's why they are called As and not Os.

what ever.

i promise i will mug like hell for the nxt 2 weeks.

once i gt the hang of it, yes, i will go on.

big sigh.

[#57]

heyheyhey~!

mized ya, journal!!!! wahahahas. cos i haven't updated for quite a loong time i guess.. whoa. that's like the overstatement (opp of understatement. ha ha.) of the year. hee. it's just not the usual regular update la. heh. yepp. anw had this weird dream ytd night or this morning. it was about someone (a girl friend.. forgot. seemed like a mixture of various ppl i knoE?? hee) who smashed my hp to the ground.. she wanted to demonstrate (but unfortunately it was an extremely realistic demo) that that wld have been what wld happen to my hp if i did sth. erm. yar. ridiculous huhh. i remember being rather angry cos i just changed my phone and i saw a brand new scratch on it. !!!!!. haha.. yeaa. so tried my best to save the scratch, i dunno how i did it.. but realized that there is this plastic covering the screen *since it's new*, so ehh, without that plastic, my hp is saved from the scratch. wow. haha.. dunno why i had this weird dream. maybe it was a combination of a few things? one is i've been dropping my phone alot of times these few weeks, must have been ky's influence but it's really bad!! think my hp is gg nuts inside. two is i've been thinkg and thinkg of getting a new hp although my current hp is just 6mths plus old. three is yi fang told me that she scratched her hp on the first day she got it. haha. strange strange.

anyway, i was away on camp. M.A.G.I.C camp~ hee. did enjoy myself. how can camps not be enjoyable? haha.. company really counts.. crystal was telling me she didn't enjoy the leo camp. just as well i didn't go. bleahh. being mean but i'm quite sure i wldn't have enjoyed myself. but then again, lijuan was in my grp la. haha.. kay lor. may be it would have been nice. who knows? heck. it's the past.

few people turned up for the camp, but there aren't a lot of members to start with. but maybe that was the goodd part of it? the you dian (:. haha.. reminded me alittle of wenxue! dunno why. haha.. my grp consisted of 4 pple, 2 j1s and 2 j2s. manting, yvonne, ashleigh and me. luckier grp with more girls than guys. haha. till now i still dunno how to spell our grp name, i'm so sorry! haha.. but it means "si shen" la. hee. we had some ice breakers, then some dry games (cherade, no man is an island *stand on newspaper which gets folded and folded and folded =p*, the hunter.fire.earthquake thingy), lunch and wet games. hee. loved the wet games!! so coOl~ got sooOoOooOoo gloriously wet. wahahahhas. dry up abit le, then got wet again. hee. sO fun! lurve water.. esp when the water was like iccce-cold! water cooler de ma.. and weather was so hot. hEhE. kept pourg cups of ice-cold water on pple who looked rather dry or people who were already weeeet. had to protect our water bombs at one game and hid them with our shirts, but screamed and screamed as many hands came and attacked us. eek! haha.. fei li arhh~! scream so much also useless... ~_~. in the end all bombs were destroyed. =P.

had soo much fun with water~ whee.. water games rockk. hahha.. reminded me of older dazus. lol. but this time we wasted SO MUCH water!!! alot alot alot alot alot lorrrr. heehee. after wet games we bathed, then all went to LJS for dinner. after dinner, the guys bought lotsa food back and we started preparg to watch anime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we watched the anime [[ Chrno Crusade ]], and it was lovely. so nice. so touchg. so excitg. so sad. so whoaaaaa woooooonderful!!! love it. haha. although it's very sadd. and loved the love btwn chrno and rosette. ((: beautiful. from around 8pm- around 4am. heee. slpt arnd 2-3 hours in the morning. feel so tempted to buy the whole series man. hahaha. want to widen my knowledge of anime and manga nehh. there's so much for me to discover. haha.. realize all the j2s are very experienced and know alot neh. hee. so i must get myself to know more.. hmmmhmmm. readg on the net will be a cheaper way ba.. or maybe i can tap on jiahui's collection. hehehehe.

the 2nd day, we had our scavenger hunt.. before that we played reverse snap.. hahaa.. laughed and laughed. fun although it was a simple game. yepps. group games are always fun. (; the scavenger hunt was alright ba.. abit tiring and i know quite little. but it opened a whole new world of jap anime and manga.. whoaa. hehe. wow. haha. must go down to sunplaza one day myself to widen my knowledge abit. =) so exciting. i have a new thing to pursue. heh. we were the first group to return!! but had to wait for the other grps.. long and itchy wait. *mosquitoes marrh* overall we were the 2nd grp (:. they also announced the exco and congrats to ly who is our new treasurer! =) heheh.

yeaa. enjoyable camp. loved it! M.A.G.I.C rockkks. xD

[#56]

don't really feel like updatg. shan't talk abt what i've done today? talk about the thoughts of the day?

56. 5566. ((: -smile- i haven't raved about them for a looong looong time. lately haven't been hearg any news of them. haven't talked to laura for a looong time as well.

dunno. lately, lookg at the list of ppl online on MSN, i really don't feel like chattg to anyone. finally decided to try talkg to priyanka, but she decides not to reply me. :( womann. you so busy arhhs? but yar.. her status is away. well, yc, not everyone is like you. they do not put their status as "away" for the sake of it. they mean it when they put it. yepp. and i haven't talked to ling or min for a looong time as well. when i see them come online, i don't know why... i don't feel the urge to click on and chat.. it's really weird. don't i want to find out what's gg on with their lives right now? don't i want to know what has happened this few months? how have they been.. how's everything?

i'm afraid.

i'm very afraid.

i'm scared that the chemistry wld have gone.

i'm scared the feelg will be strange.

i'm afraid of always chattg about the same topic.. so much that we'll chat for the sake of it.. circulatg those few questions over and over again. i'm so afraid.

wish i'm a guy sometimes. zhi zhi jie jie, bu tun tun tu tu. you shen me jiu zhi shuo. bu hui xiang zhe me duo. kao luu you kao luu. fan fu xiang xiang. shua xin ji. i dunno. sighh.

i may be just wu bing shen yin. but i wish time will just stop sometimes. so that things will never chg. and will just stay simply happy always. (:

nahh. i shld talk to them soon.

i must! anyway, i want an 05A5 outg. (;. tho there's no time.. but i guess if everyone can find a suitable day when everyone's free, i will gladly fork out my whole day. who cares about mugging?

haaaai.

lately i seemed to have lost some social skills. i have lost interest in meetg new people. i have lost interest in talking to ppl. i have lost interest in the phone. i have lost interest in MSN. i have lost interest in communicatg??

whatever. saw ban kou xian er's photo in the latest i-wkly just now and was squealg away. then i saw that photo of renfu and linda at the last 2nd pg or so. squealed again.

wtf.

got d/ced the minute i pressed "publish post" and yay, whole thing gone. luckily the front bits were saved. thnks blogger, for the "recover post" thingy. arghhh. lost all mood to cont what i'd left off.

mummy's started nagging. wheeee!!! let the streeeeess pile on. (:

[#55]

heyheyys.

sick. cough, sore throat, running nose = flu? haha.. hope it doesn't turn into a fever... got to do mercy relief tmr.. hope runng nose can stop runng.. don't fancy helpg to pack things and sneeze and let my nose run and run all the time.. it'll be disgustg and unhygenic. errrgh. pls get well soon, nose. =(

so what did i do today? wasted whole morng and early afternoon? actually sat in frnt of the tv frm arnd 11 to 1pm. had some nice shows gg on. lollx. those taiwanese shows which you can still be interested in if you watch a few eps here and there.. mmmmx. but didn't really feel disgusted by myself. i have a ready excuse and reason. i'm sick. -big deal-. *rolls eyes*

really did some work as i went on with a few more pgs of econs notes, then fretted over dumb partial frac qns.. then had tuition/trigo torture with kor at mac from 7++pm-10pm. haiiiii. although i did get down to doing 2hrs++ of maths and not fidget too much or waste time.. but still felt awful. but it's still gd. it's effective and efficient. but the mac was abit chao ba? gt a little bit distracted. but ya. it's btr than home...... where there's the fridge, the TV, the comp, the bed, the countless comfort stuff........ so, conclude? i shld mug outside. hAhx. realized this long ago ba.. which was why i studied at sch libs? haha.. that's durg sch term time ba.. hols nehh.. where shld i go study? i need a companion too.. don't want my bro, he makes me stressed. heh. who wants to pei me????????????????

awww. kor bought this pack of tissue paper with POOOH! ahahah. so cuuute! =D yEa.. got to get gg.. time for bED!! =) jay rocks!

ja ne.

`rocker)) *

[#54]

c'mon, congratulate me.

i've begun to feel the stress. stress has finally realized it had forgotten to come to me and wrap her cold arms around me. ergh. i'd rather not feel it. but not feelg it makes me even more worried. stress has unfurled and is startg pile on me! am i supposed to rejoice? hurray! actually, i'm do feel relieved. feelg the stress is the first step. it may lead to further disasters but hmm.. it will actually wake me up from my sweet dreams and fling me back to reality. yeaa. reality is full of thorns, but i do want to taste the sweetness of success behind those thorns. who doesn't want to pass JCT? who doesn't want to see nicer lookg grades on the JCT result slip (or whatever that thing is called.) who doesn't want to see at least a B? instead of Cs and Ds? hm. don't regret not taking chemistry. i know i'm not the sort who thrive under stress.. but doses of stress can help jerk me back from sleepg thru my days.. dollops can turn harmful.. when i will start to get frus and tear my hair from the unsolvable maths and undigestible econs. ahaha. dollops reminds me of honey. dollops of honey.. woowhoawee.

been thinkg about ccas. or rather PDPs, as they call tt in tj.[ horrible name btw.] thinkg about exco.. comm.. hrmhrm. i hadn't wanted to join hustgs of any sort cos i wanted to have a life. to have a life can mean many things? have a life as in have a boisterious and busy JC life, filled with activities and responsiblities and such? have a life as in being able to go home early, hope to have a gdnap and rest before wakg up to deal with hw and revisg? have a life as in slackg thru your days, and only panickg when major tests arrive? mmmmm. i know i can't have the first type of life. i can't deal with too many things at a time. maybe i have the capability to do so, but i don't wish to stretch myself to that extent. i don't see what's the point of makg myself so tired and stressed with many different things on hold.. (ie PDP, studies. alot huh? ohyarr, and family) i will eventually just indulge in the things i'll enjoy the most, put in all my efforts for enjoyment, and leave the stuff that are impt to me (academics, ie?) aside.. when i fail, i will see my faults laid out clearly. but will i bother to change? i won't. how many times have i sighed, cried, fretted when i failed at some point of time? and how many times have i forgotten all those mistakes, and making them all over again? vicious cycle that goes on and on. yeaa. so, i'm not cut out for this kind of life. i don't have dollops *this word again! fave wrd of the day* of determination, drive, ambition. yarr. but then again, hmm, how can i be so sure that i'll get it if i run? lol. yar, that's another factor. but the point is, i don't bother tryg. cos i've realized it won't do me gd in the long run. maybe i wld have been able to test my limits and challenge myself and probably prove to myself that i can handle all these... but yea. i chose not to. don't think i'll regret. but i realize that i still have to give up some precious revision days for pdp. precious revision days cos i know i'm a time-waster. so i've got to stop wastg time. but it's a habit that is really difficult to kick off. sigh. yaryar. so it all bounces back to i want to complain that i have very little time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so much for such a big chunk of para. xS.

i need to sleep le ba. my nose can't take it anymore. not gg out tmr. hope nose recovers tmr, aka mood will be btr, and studyg will go on smoothly and maths will stop fightg back. x). gdluck yc. ni yao jiayou arhhs. rmb you wanted to prove yourself durg "O"s aft your prelims horrifyg results? didn't really prove anything but there you are in tj. *im such an idiot. NY rocks! seriously. nyjc rooocks* so ya, cont to prove yourself. to your own self.

ja ne.................

[#53]

just a short one for the day.

btw tt list made my eyes all crossed. lol. who asked me to read? just curious ba.. anw there were some parts which were quite true.. and some funny bits. heh.

it's gg to rain soon! can see the lightening and hear the thunder some distance away.. today wasn't really fruitful.. i started on my econs notes.. as expected i haven't finished.. wonder how dx finished his.. *grimace* haiii. but nvm.. econs seems less alienic.. gonna attack maths ltr.. shld do the earlier chps and gao dim them ba.. that evelyn wants to mug even on thursday. TSK. hahaa.. kaekae, shall bring maths along la. hrmmms. maybe diff? cos will have tuition with kor tmr. haii. gg out tmr.. shld i go anorx? think i'm fallg sick.. and also not havg much time to mug.. but don't want to pangseh yit, jun and tingg. but then again, i won't stay out too late.. hmmmm. but i want to learn how to skate too!!! see how it turns out tmr? headache now. literally.

did yun's survey. feel stressed abt pw again. xS. ohh. to brighten up my day, let me see.. do i have any leftover hw frm last term? one yao essay, one chuang zuo gao. that's about it? i think there's some econs tys as well. wahahas. im like, wow, so stresssed.

i like playg my piano! yayy. altho some of my pieces are really in pieces.. but i don't care. shall continue to bang da piano as and when i like it, whether or not i'm disgracg myself. lalala~ haven't touched my violin since "O"s!!! that's a pretty long time. i shld play again one of these days? don't feel the urge to touch it tho.. dunno why. actually i love the sound of strings.. and the violin.. but not the sounds i create when i play it!! saddd. maybe ttx why i nvr liked playg...... my brain tells me to stop, and mummy hmmm will very subtly tell me that basically, my playg sucks. hahahx. shall play one day when i'm alone in da hse.. ((: music is really therapeutic. (how to spell this wrd neh?)

tata for now then. ja nE~! =)

[#52]

"don't bother, don't knock
keep away if you want to
keep your head, you dork

humans are weird creatures
who fill their heads with rubbish
brains are made up strange features
making humans screwed like a spoilt dish

i ain't no crook
i'm just a normal being
i ain't no cook
tasting is believing

the world just spins on
minute by minute, day by day
whether or not you have won
never stopping to hear anyone's say

i ain't no poet
not at all a pessimist
i ain't no pianist
can't be your player for that duet

not planning to have a go again
at the living weird people
till i get down to seriously train
my nonexistent rhyming skills"

[#51]

heyheyys.

hee.. moi lj now is also at its 51st entry.. whoaa.. typed so many entries le.. sighh.. feelg abit tired, full and................................

anyway, went to da town park and sat on the swing today.. ((:.. very nice and windy, altho it was rather hot as well.. humid weather.. x) i pushed 2 kids on the swing as well.. hehe.. they were quite young and small sized.. so cldn't really swing on their own.. haha..

swings are soo nice. :) i love swinging. shld swing more often. improves your mood. swing therapy. whee~ hahax.. shldn't remind myself of PW. arGGhhh. helped heng do his survey by assumg 8 personalities, and sposed to help yun do hers now.. can't seem to download the file tho.. shall try again.. everyone's PW seems to have some sorta zhao luo le.. but look at mine!!!! *cringe* we haven't even come up with a survey form!! we haven't cover our loopholes yet?!! and i really can't work with this person. i've nvr ever come across a person like him. he makes me really exasperated. actually we don't have anything against him, but he just feels that we are always zhen dui-g him. i don't like being accused of being something i am not... ... ... ... ... we need to meet up and chiong once sherilyn and him return ba.. =S. i'm so lookg fwd to this..............

was thinkg of 05A5 earlier this afternoon. memory space in computers are limited.. so is the memory space in human brains ba.. seems like, very soon, everything will be just a fragment of the past.. insignificant past.. i wish i won't forget.. but i think i will.. it's scary.. i don't like to forget.. i don't want to forget.. i don't want to be bound to the past forever, to memories forever and not move forward, in fact i know i've already moved forward.. from sec4 to ny.. from ny to tj.. but i wish that when i think of the past, my heart can still beat the same beat it was beatg at at that point of time.. ya.. that i can relieve those moments as they were like.. but it's impossible.. friendships don't last with a few random words exchanged here and there.. friendships don't maintain when you don't communicate.. when you start to not communicate, as time goes by, you will feel less and less inclined to communicate.. when communication breaks down, what's left of the friendship? when you can't be bothered to strike up a conversation.. or when you wish to bother, but hesitate, and eventually procrastinate and not ever start the conversation again.. friendships seem to die prematurely all the time.. we shld put in more effort. be more bothered. really treasure the friendship before we can make sure it will last. if we nvr realized its importance, we will nvr come to really cherish it, and it will die out...... humans have emotions.. ni fu chu duo shao, jiu hui de dao duo shao. won't it be very tirg if we strive to keep every friendship? wldn't it be too emotionally taxg if we are the ones who keep givg, but get nothing at all in return? i don't know. of course, we won't be able to keep every friendship in one complete piece, but put it this way, if the other party wishes as much as us, to keep the friendship alive and blossomg, this will be the kind of friendship we shld cherish. hmmm. i think i will end up confusg myself. sighhh. tryg to sort out my thoughts... x).

it's weird when i don't really feel the stress.. i don't understand myself. i don't have the sense of urgency ba. which is bad. the weather is too hot. i'm not concentratg. i don't get my priorities right. so i shld plan today. plan out my days. i have 3 more weeks. but i have to include days whereby i will chiong PW and days whereby i will def go out...

am so disgusted by myself.

laMerz. bottom [tingg.mii] top [jun.yit] 

[#50]

"some thoughts visit me
like they are from another world
i don't know myself anymore
lost in my own mind

a collection of masks
lying on my bed
waiting for me
to make my choice

i don't want to lose control
don't want to lose myself
don't want to be weak
want to face up reality

pretentious words
different masks
i use to cover my true self
i still can't find the true me

when can i learn to be strong
maybe those masks are my ways
to stay covered in my cocoon
pretending to be safe and secure"