[#139]

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

Happiness lives for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

was looking through all those things i'd saved in my folders.. all these meaningful sentences i've saved from emails onto notepads.. all those notepad stuff i'd accumulated over these few years.. conversations, meaningful stories or messages from emails... wow. and i've really grown up. haha. can't believe my grammar was tt atricious at sec1. xP. used to chat on the IRC during my sec1 sec2 yrs.. lots of time spent online, at night.. chatting away.. but of cos i didn't go round talking to strangers.. talked at #pRpS, talked to ppl from my pri sch.. not ppl from my own classes, but seniors, and other ppl.. it was interesting talking to them.. used to chat a lot with a senior (2yrs older), coincidentally my classmate's elder brother.. but somehow i stopped going on IRC and so we lost contact.. he was my "kor".. that kind of silly sibling thing la.. looking back, we chatted abt alot of stuff.. and i did look forward to those chats.. somehow. wonder how he is now? mmm.

---

***

sometimes i just hate it when those kinda "huh.. WHY did you score so badly?", "What happened?", "So what are you going to do about it?" conversations. it sucks. what kind of results i'd gotten, i've already come terms to it. whatever results i'd gotten, it is an indelible fact. who will like to get this kinda results? who will like to sit and wait in trepidation, worried abt PASSING, getting a pathetic AO pass to get promoted? i don't like it. i do feel sad. i do want to do something about it. but i've got to get on with life right. i know i've got to reflect on what went wrong and yaba daba. but i'm OLD enough. i know how to think. i don't need you to tell me what TO DO. it turns me off. stop treating me like a baby! i know i haven't been exactly responsible, i know i haven't been hardworking, i know i have let all of you worried about my studies, i know i'm just this stupid lil sister who is lazy and not one bit diligent, i know i haven't proven myself to be capable of planning and managing my time, i know i haven't shown in any way that i want to succeed in life and make an achievement, i know i have shown you all in every way that i am somebody with no ambition, no drive, no motivation. i know i suck. but you don't see what efforts i'd put in. you don't see that i do want to do something about my life. you don't see me trying to think of what i want to pursue in uni. you don't see me trying hard to grow up. you don't see me falling and trying to pick myself up. you don't see me realising that i have not done myself enough justice this time round (ie promos). you don't see that i am going to strive hard and really mug. you just see me as your little sister, whom you need to nag and prod and push.. just leave me alone sometimes, will ya?

maybe i'm just this hedgehog with thousands millions zillions pricks that will stand out viciously whenever that subject is being brought up. i don't want to prick up but i just do. maybe i shld just speak my mind. but i can't. i can't. i can't. i CAN'T. it just seems a lot simpler to keep things the way they are. at home, i'm still the same carefree childish xiaochun who will never ever grow up.

having elder siblings can be tiresome sometimes. you want them to care. but you don't want them to become a second, third, fourth parent.

***