[#130]

hate it when tears fall. for results. it's dumb. it's weak. i feel stupid. but the tears just came. was it the mcq or tt darned essay? i dunno. it's really idiotic cos i knew i won't do well.. tt kinda sinkg and "this time i will really flunk cos i screwed up" feelg aft realizing one essay was screwed and the mcqs were badly done.. then i met mswong and aft what she said.. i knew i wldnt do well.. but there was just this one small tiny hope tt things wont go too wrong.. but when realization hits.. arrh. whatever. a known fact is tt (mug+effort = satisfyg results) is not an equation that stands all the time. but yc... you must nt lose hope.. you must jiayou during the hols.. no use thinkg abt all the what-ifs and if-onlys and shldn't-haves.. lep was disappointing as well.. wellls. what can i say? mswong.. pls be nice to me and help me.. sighh. and yaa thnks vann and meiq for consoling me.. :)

i see myself chging.. frm sec sch days to jc days.. the confidence rubbed off.. the enthusiasm and earnest rubbed off.. the happiness rubbed off.. the carefreeness rubbed off.. the bubblyness rubbed off.. the warmth rubbed off.. the niceness rubbed off.. the optimisticness rubbed off.. don't like these chges.. but they are happening to me.. what can i do? days will still gt by.. being crushed a few times doesn't mean a thing. thinkg too much hurts.. it's idiotic but i want to hold on the belief that things will get better, a little bit of warmth will be able to chase the coldness away somehow, i will be able to stop those chges. somehow. somehow. maybe today is just a depressing rainy night.

there are still things i've gt to cherish.. yepps. thnks yun.. thnks sh.. :) and thnks mummy..

mmmmm.

shall look fwd to the scg bbq on sat.. yay! the last bbq i had was with nyccs, somewhere in march.. tt bbq was a reallllllly nice one =D.. i lurve marshmallooooooooows!!! hahaha. i will be helpg in buying food again! yeaaaman. cos it's at pasir ris park. i lurve pasir ris park! =). we will have fun yar? (;

eyes drooping le.. think i'll go to lala land again tmr.. but luckily only one lect- econs.. gg thru essay qn 2. oh damn. it's tt stupididioticdarnedfreakishdumb mian bao qns. heh. and we will have to run 2.2km lucky heiights there during mass pe.. and i'll have 3 bldy periods to rot and after which there will be a maths tutorial which i dunno what mrwong will do? then stupid pw. haii cant go hc open hse cos of pw. nvm. sunday! sunday can go k at hougang cc.. and all 7 will turn up.:)~

liang jing ru's ke xi bu shi ni is a verrry sad song. but i like it. :).

kay now i need slp.